i feel for your island...

i saw your president in hand cuffs

and i wondered how this little island

is some how more democratic than sweden.

what do i know, Im going to las vegas

maybe someone is breaking into your house and peeing in the fish bowl just for the fun of it

one of the first taiwanese idioms I learned was : Bad times make people go nuts.

any bass

Chilean sea bass...

i had bass for pets but they died from

ammonia, im not happy about this.

i have taken water samples

added chemicals

and still

there is always too much ammonia

yes

and the heart is just an involuntary muscle

yada yada yada

helen loves electricity

especially when its coursing through a guitar

im becoming fond of bass

okay, I take that back
maybe we are registered to fall in love with one person at a time

remember Helen?
"love is just a scientific reaction that encourages us to mate"

I really miss that green dumpling.

it's the attack of kitty!

I wonder what barbie's skeleton would look like...

fleet foxes

you are my soundtrack mind this winter

that finds us in your belly

ya...but...

they take drugs and talk to lizzards
while wearing special underwear

role model anyone?

actually monogamy is really new

its a freak

lobsters mate for life, ohhh wait

some birds

but we are really new to it

but the first man in the bible abraham

slept with his maid when his wife
got too old for lovin

ok im not gettin no where

i can only hope you love two mormons

they ride in pairs, it seems possible right?

it would make a cool MV at least wow!

Somebody can fall in love with more than one person a time
look at the mormans

this is where jane decides to read "electronic revolution"
in german because everyone knows if you really want to
tell somebody powerful secrets; they must be in german
she reads about how easy it is to make a coffee shop that
she doesnt like go out of business.
maybe the people were not nice to her
maybe their coffee is too expensive
she reads and reads and then experiments
but her goal is not to put a coffee shop out of business

jane finds an everyday tape recorder
jane records people in the toilet
jane delivers the tape to her intended target
target assumes the tape is of them in the toilet

no more cameras

-from William Burroughs and the electronic revolution

I live in the dorms. We don't have the chance to drink stale coffee together. He'd be too busy playing CS even if we had the chance to drink stale coffee together.

From the student's recreation room in the dorms.
That's where the stale coffee came from.
Somebody made too much... I think
Maybe it was the military officer. Remember? We used to have those military officers in high school. They're here too in uinversity.

Speaking of military officers...
A girl, let's call her Jane, stole a military officer's tiramisu.
Poor poor Jane
She could've stolen anybody's anything and got away with it.
Jane must've wanted a life on the edge.
The military officer started pasting moniter pictures of Jane taking the tiramisu.
Now, Jane isn't Jane anymore, she's known as "the girl who took the tiramisu".

I wonder how she feels?

stale coffee and brown sugar hmm
why is the coffee stale come monday
was there weekend coffee made for two?
was it for you? for him? sometimes we make coffee
when we really want seagrams 7

cold rainy days is that cold stale coffee waiting for you during mondays

ahh thats sweet
it also cleverly illustrates why high schools should be co-ed

Real life is like a game of CS, you have to be careful or someone will blow your head off.
-my boyfriend

Who are you ? What are you?”
part one


When she started the car it made that whine that it makes. He was listening to it while thinking of whether or not he had forgotten something. He reached for the far counter of the kitchen and grabbed an apple. It was the alternator, whining, a high pitched dry noise he thought was strange on such a young car.
She needed to stop by the office on the way in and asked if he needed to stop for anything as well. He couldn’t think of anything, he was looking at his face in the mirror. When they reached the office he asked if he could go inside and look for scissors. Back at the car he began with the scissors and the mirror, trimming the hair in his nose.
An hour into the trip traffic started to slow. Long weekend for thanksgiving and all this traffic heading through Barstow towards Vegas. She noticed that you couldn’t smell any cows and he noticed all the new housing. Not that it surprised him, he was getting used to this and what could he have expected? He was out of the country for five years. Asia he says and something about a year in the middle east, he talks about the middle east a lot. It wasn’t until they pulled up at the house had he remembered the apple. While parking the car she saw that her brother in law had pulled up right behind them. Which is to be expected having that this part of Fallbrook narrows to one lane for miles through low running cedars, oak, and pony hills that lead them upward into avacado orchards run by their family, the Italians.

why does it have to be facial hair?

can't it be chest hair or hair from some other place?

what was it like having a jewish girl?

I promise I promise I won't tell anyone...

really~~

the good old days when money would equal love

I suddenly remembered the time I made a christmas card
out of my beard.

wait, no, there is no real way to make this sound right
I grew a beard, like santa, shaved it on christmas and
gave my girlfriend a homemade christmas card spelling
the words merry christmas with red fuzzy hair.

ya, Im a keeper

actually she was jewish and there is alot of inside humor
that I will take to grave regarding this specific girl and facial hair

Christmas these days are so ma fan...
not a long time ago
you could buy something new and expensive and money would equal love

now you have to add some "umph" into a gift

a teddy just isn't enough
it has to be a handmade teddy with the kid's initials on it

a scarf isn't enough
it has to be self knitted and packed

Taiwanese don't even believe in Christmas...

life is either about wishing what could be rushing through happiness in a whirl

across the fence there is an old lady who
sits in her sun chair between 11 and 1 everyday
i can see her sun room from my second story bedroom
i look down on her yard.
just as the sun begins to illuminate her frail
and withered wrists, the table side
bonzai and reading glasses

she is there until the sun has left the room
i often look down on her room while changing clothes
removing my glasses and setting them on the dresser
i squint my eyes into her sun room, looking, looking to see something

i sat on the steps of the business building today, eating lunch

i looked

students that moved in packs with heavy english textbooks
complaining loudly about tests and homework and the way class is taught

hurried professors pretending that they had something important to do
awkward at the students that walked passed them as if they were invisible
even more awkward at the students that did notice them

deans and officials in black suits with plastic smiles and barbie-doll body language


i walked out to the rain today
exclaimed
look! it's raining

a teacher looked at me and said
wasn't it raining when you came in?
didn't you notice?

and he laughed
a kindly laugh
a it's okay you'll grow up laugh

when did people forget how to forget?

I've been listening to Shin's one night in beijing
it's weirdly cleansing

maybe that just proves that I'm chinese

I pass my time with strangers but this bottle's my only friend

I fantisize about myself being able to down a bottle of whiskey just like THAT.

I hate the taste of alcohol too much to get anywhere with drinking, just the same way i've shied away from drinking anything with carbon dioxcide pumped into it for eighteen years.

I'm doing this "you think it for long enough and it happens" theory. I keep on telling myself that in fact I was a vodka downing Russian in my past life.

I hope it works.

Then again, no I don't.

we are taught to be consumers
to buy shit we dont really need for houses
we can not afford
too live on credit
to be in debt
to be on string
to be tapped
to leach
to consume

try this song to your right
when you feel your losing your soul
or just hum the chorus in the halls
hope you like it

fossil fool

this morning i was looking for shit
i was in a backyard with a shovel
autumn leaves covered the grounds in various colors
of yellow and decay
i was suprised how little dog shit i could find
i had four maybe five elongated stones
archiac, petrifed the color of ash and pueter
when i kicked off the shoes before entering the house
in the tread, ripe and willing, i stepped in a fresh one

My college English teacher has a love affair with sketch engine the same way you had one with youtube. The only difference is that youtube is interesting.



I'm affraid that university will tame me. I'm affraid that four more years of education will turn me into a suit wearing bun-haired high healed one big fakeo.

I went to see a Chinese doctor yesterday. He told me that I'm practically a ghost radar. Beeping away. Something to do with yin and yang. (I'm more of a yin by the way.) Ghosts are supposed to be more attracted to me...

Chinese people are very hard to understand sometimes.

Thriving Ivory "Angels on the moon"
I wanna feel all the chemicals inside
I wanna sunburn just to know i'm alive
Don't tell me if i'm dying
cause i don't wanna know
if i can't see the sun
maybe i should go
don't wake me up
cause i'm dreaming of angels on the moon

:)

i was in chiayi
on the far east of town
i woke up with the sun at my back, early,
weekday, hours before then train, the taxi.
I was watching a man on his roof blowing a whistle
until he was engulfed with pigeons.
The haze obscurred the landscape, softened the hardships and bile
a picture I had in my head when I moved here
betel nut trees and the neon sign of the motel spa
everything in my life led up to this sunrise
and I knew I had to lose it all
I was losing her
and we worked the same shift
she would be in the same train as I
and from the train she would hail the very taxi
that pulled up before my own
I could see the back of her head in traffic
I could see her driver taking the same short cuts as mine
I asked to be let out early at the intersection before the final light
walking to work
I just wanted to take the back entrance
work my way up the stairs to the fifth floor
and stay there until the day passed
it was november and I knew I had at least another year of this

breakup season it when
you look at your friends
break up
one
by
one by
one
you smile
and wonder when
it's gonna happen to you

college life is like that look on the womans face

you know, the woman driving down the road with her dress sticking out caught in the
closed door, flapping with the passing breeze outside the car.
it that look on her face, unknowing, in a hurry, ohh college,

Is college really like grown up life?
As a whole?
As a hole...

I wanna run away with the circus.

I wanna run away with a pack of wild honey bees.


Not hornets; honey bees

I was bitten by a hornet when I was little, and I looked at the torn hornet with pulled out intestines a wiggling half-body struggling for it's life.

Then I walked away with my finger swollen.

I never forgot.

honey bees aren't that great either huh?

But they didn't bite me.

even in hawaii

no way!
Sarah Palin?!
isn't she the hockey mom that your country's gonna put up against Vladimir Putin?!
you guys are really brave

nothing is put to waste
that's my logic anyway
even the icky people in this world have the wonderful use of making us not so icky people look good
: )

ive come the grips with the fact the last five years
of my life have meant nothing

well, grips, maybe not, I go from thoughts to grips rather quickly
as if it means i can ignore the fact that the only people
who understand what Ive done with half a decade are either
soldiers or travelers,
the first Im never in the company of and second I look
for in alleys like fellow vampires

for holloween I was myself
and I spent most of the night talking to Sarah Palin
at first I didnt recognize her and the introduction was ackward
seeing how I made a lasting impression and couldnt remember her
she produces reality television now

as the ghost that I was, disappeared for five years
I found myself stretching in conversations to think of
things that happened five years ago before I left
the night involved me hearing my name and then walking towards
the sound

the women all left around three about the same time the power went out
when the lights came back on Sarah Palin was gone

I wanna be queen of the valley when I grow up

I was just thinking
What's it like being a dorm bed?
Just laying there letting people come and go
having to get used to all kinds of people
different schedules different personalities different everythings

I think my dorm bed isn't ready to let me in
I think it's only pretending to like me
maybe it's cause of the stuffy feeling I get everytime before bed time
maybe I'm just too picky

I go about like a madman
not caring yet caring about everything
not noticing yet imagining about noticing
I always watch the little things that people don't bother with anymore
but I forget about the things people think I should remember
I am "almost hit by cars" constantly
there are things far more important than traffic to me
it's funny how alone we can be in a crowd
nobody wants to look alone yet none of us are ready to completely give aren't we?

It's easier to pretend to be crazy than to care about things

I've fell in love with a feeling recently
you know the feeling you get when you spin and spin and spin to the point where you're nauseous and silly with dizziness?
I think it should become a kind of therapy
something about being sick and dizzy makes you get look this world at a broader perspective
my theory is that somehow problems spin off because of your high speed
you stop caring about trivial things when you feel so dizzy you can't think

queen of the valley

international business dept?

as in...students from south africa and estonia who
went to taiwan cuss their own countries wouldnt pay for their education
and they get you?

hahaha!@

ohhh lord

cholo is in quarantine for a suspected night slaying
of a male suitor to his precious mojo

fuck la

tomorrow im going to a halloween party in the valley

people in santa monica look down on people in the valley

fuck them too

people in valley are not snobs, ok they work in porn so what

i would rather go to a party full of nearly broke adult "actors"

than a bunch of pretentious PR studio people...

in fact, I realize that I really have a relationship with this city
and that im very possessive. I love her the best before everyone awakes
and when everyone else is asleep. I like the drive back to her between 4-6:30 a.m.
the drive from the valley through mullholland, or the best is to take the back way through the coast on pch, exit ocean blvd, and take main up to ocean park. I think I came here to die, Im at peace. happy halloween, expect pictures from the valley

ohh dear

my parents teach gym

i've justified myself in the International Business Department
by doing a couple of splits and walking around with my name tag pinned in my hair and doing whatever i fell like

nobody can pull off a name-tag pinned on hair better then I can

why do everybody else put their name tag on their shirts?

i keep looking at it and hitting into it when moving

so i pinned it on my hair

and i forgot it's existence

isn't how it's supposed to be isn't it

nobody goes around thinking that their who and who

they just are

ohh dear

you know what they say about teachers

"Those who cant do...teach

and those who cant teach

teach gym."

I almost studied a summer at Oxford

back before my mind was wonderfully destroyed on sugar, early punk, and the lyrics of public

enemy.

i just recently filled a thiry gallon aquarium with fish, and I cant believe how telling their

behavior is...I have named the dominant fish cholo, the female, mojo, the others haven't justified

themselves worthy of an identity yet

people don't die on tracks
that way
they won't have to pay insurance

that way
they will be able to earn more from cramming in the exact same quiz

that way
fast, to the point, and not caring shit about whether you die or not

A guy majoring in finance walks around sporting a T-shirt

LACK OF MONEY IS THE ROOTS OF ALL EVIL

good for him
now it's my turn

MONEY IS THE ROOTS OF ALL EVIL

how's that for a change

why does language have to be corrected

as long as it's from the heart

who cares shit

our college english 1 teacher goes around correcting what's wrong and what's not

if he can't explain something

he says it's ridiculous and nonsence

who would know
he's the one that majored in lingistics in Oxford

Fuck oxford

next time try digesting cotton swabs

do you really think any of the greatest poets of the last decade

i.e. hip hop would stop to correct the proper use of flow...

next time you need a critique, instead of using your material

just use some of the lyrics of that genius poet Kayne West

see what they would say...

I had my first creative writing teacher in High School

His name was Mr Ellis, and he was cheating on his wife with another English teacher

this is very English department by the way

Ive studied six languages and there is nothing in the waters that

create such well...debouchery...as English...which is strange

b/c English isn't a language of beauty, or practicality

fuck I need some Kayne right about now

your post makes me glad to no longer be considered a teacher

not that I was great at it,

its just

I'm against it.

teaching a language that is a bastard

its like teaching rock n roll

really???

you wanna be the douche bag that says they can and can not

do as they please with a bastard?

no

not me

since I'm in the mode of asking you questions you can never really answer here it is

Q: Why do you think they teach people to drive cars on tracks in Taiwan instead of streets?

Q: What does this say about learning in Taiwan?

Q: I feel like we went over this so...what gives?

so

on that note

a moment of Kanye...

and she claim she only with me for the currency you cut me deep bitch cut me like surgery and i was too proud to admit that it was hurting me id never do that to you at least purposely we breaking up again we making up again but we dont love no more i guess wee f**king then have you ever wanted to kill her and you mixed them emotions with tequila and you mixed that with a little bad advice on one of them bad nights yall have a bad fight and you talking bout her family her aunts and shit and she say motherf**ker your mommas a bitch you know domestic drama and shit all the attitude i'd never hit a girl but i'd shake the shit out of you but imma be the bigger man big pimpin like jigga man oh i guess i figga it's ...

My conversation english teacher wants to be like Morrie. She wants us to write to our past or future selves. I pretended to be Nomad and wrote to me. I couldn't let go though. I'm not really comfortable letting 20 classmates that I meet once a week read my craziness. If I were to be really truthful: Hihi! tall alien with squeaky voice.

Oh, and she also wants us to find a native speaker (definition: born and grew up in the states or uk) to correct our homework for her.

During the native speaker worksheet turn in week, Chengchi was filled with packs of native-speaker-hungry students. They would move on quickly if the foreigner said somewhere foreigner like Germany or Spain.

I got lucky. My native speaker attended Tai Kown Do club. I caught him during the meet.

I gave him the Nomad letter and he looked at the sentence," I know I'm shy to an an autistic sorta way." and laughed.

He told me I was wrong.

Why can't Nomad say whatever he wants?

Darn

bittersweet

hmmm...

to counter

I still think you should be a librarian

but to play the devil food cake advocate that I was sent upon this green phlemy mess of manure

called planet home; why do you think books in taiwan are sealed in plastic?

why do you think books are over priced?

why do you think anyone getting paid a dollar an hour

is going to tell you anything but the answer that is going to get you out of their face

as quickly as possible?

also, my pretty little thing...try accosting young male book store clerks and see where

embracing the ethereal eternity that has launched a thousand ships...a thousand hips?

i dont think a male clerk would be so keen as to point who is carrying gucci

now... a male librarian on the other hand...no chance you'd get past on of them

I am now secretly afraid of bookstores.
Last time I went to find wicked,
the salespeople gave me a empty smile and said," sorry, we're sold out."
they then told me that the other store in sogo probably had it.
I got off the station and discovered two sogos at the same place.
Why would the sogo people do that?
Why would the bookstore people do that?
Nevertheless I went in one of the sogos atempting to try my luck.
The officer in the front said that I couldn't go in, they were closing.
I stood there not knowing what to do, and then I saw the officer let a lady with a gucci hadbag go in.
I decided that I am tired of bookstores now.
What ever happened to warm and inviting bookstores with a personality?

if you cant find bukowski in taiwan
I will send it.
I gave my last copy I had in taiwan
to a friend who was leaving taiwan to
chase the ghost of his x wife in estonia
he came back to taiwan four months later
and to be honest
I wanted the book back
he is now in s. korea.

if i can say this
I never looked at writing again after reading him
and i think it had something to do
with my friends failed attempts of settling in estonia
fare enough...
ive read wicked twice now
but i would rather send you "love is a dog from hell"

should I try him out
or is he sold out all the time like wicked?

shame

who's he?

you read bukowski?

I told you!

See!

His soul is about puking over trash cans and looking a blue-eyed birdies.
You can't judge a soul just because it pukes over a trash can.
All of us puke in a trash can one time or another. We just don't physically do it.
Our soul, it does all the dirty work for us. We just hide all the true things behind humanly self. In truth, we all wish do be extraordinary, to write great works of art or produce masterpieces for the world to remember us by. The ones that do end up getting remembered are the ones that let themselves puke over trash cans, laugh at themselves, or are just plain crazy.

Imagine charles bukowski having to teach his own works. He probably would become a John Nash.

charles bukowski taught poetry

hung over, paid to speak, some of his best work is about puking in
trashcans on college campuses
and staring at young birdies with blue eyes

Poetry class was interesting. I felt uncomfortable with someone setting up a "poetry" class. To me, poetry is sacred, poetry is soul. For someone to take poetry classes is like someone amputating up a soul. Maybe I'm just too sensitive.
The poetry was professor was understanding. I think he is a poetic soul.

tostada salads and the jews

Lettys mexican restuarant used to be a real mexican restuarant
the kind that mexicans would go to
so it seemed fitting that I would meet rockstar ray from the bangkok five
at lettys, since his last name is blanco, which means "white"
I got their early, ordered, at sat across a booth of bloated office ladies
talking about the upcoming jewish holidays.

when ray walked in they all stopped talking
apparantly rock stars are not supposed to come out during daylight hours
to eat mexican food which was disappointing;
having been away for five years this place has changed, where are the mexicans eating, I want to know, "this place got healthy, no flavor, no grease, dry, sorry, I didnt know" I said.

shalom

magical mormon underwear?!?!

how could they keep such important information away from us!!

*howling in despair and pain...*

i can't believe that i lived 18 years without knowing about magical mormon underwear

i feel devastated about not knowing

it's just the opposite from sarah palin. I was curious about her and youtubed her. I wish I hadn't done such a thing. she's just like the chinese isn't she? have your babies early and then destroy the world latter.

back to magical mormon underwear...

what does it do?
is it like chocolate and oysters?
does it suddenly boost your sex appeal? cause don't mormons have like four wives or something? wait, or was that Arabian sugar daddies?

maybe it was both.

or is it like skinny pants and thongs?
they look awful good but do awfully bad?

I'm betting on the oyster theory. Mormons seem to care more about performance than looks.

but I'm not one to judge, I never knew any mormons. I knew a couple of jews once though. They were... very Jewish...

actually...

yes

Mormons worship the angel Moroni

so they should be called morons

If you see them, you should ask them about the magic underwear

you dont know about magical mormon underwear?

what did they teach you in high school?

I guess I could send your bf a pair for x-mass

no wait...its unisex so I could send you both pairs.

mormons once came to my house

I think that was when I was in elementry school...

I never understood why they had wear helmets while bike riding, from the pace they rode their bikes, slugs had enough time to slug away before they ran over them.

They stood outside our door and wouldn't come in until daddy came home. They knew we spoke English but insisted on converting us in Chinese. I didn't really understand their Chinese. I ate clams and dozed off to their monotonous preaching.

After they had finished converting us, they wanted to come again. Daddy smiled a tight smile and told them that he thought they better not. They gave Daddy a look that said that he thought we would all go to hell.

Imagine what Daddy would say if I ran off with the mormons? Did mormons have anything to do with the word moron appearing in the English language?

The Osmond family were mormons weren't they?

better yet...

become a mormon

then you can enter lots of peoples houses

you could explain to your parents that

you are working very hard on a very difficult

yet promising young man you think is on the verge of

joining you on your mormon crusaude

and that you need to spend extended hours at his hours five days a week...

you also get to ride a bike everywhere you please

and if your parents question your

biking and entering

you can sum it up with the one answer

that has plagued and escaped rational thinking for thousands of years

"Im doing it for the lord."

scary...if you showed up in Santa Monica dressed as a mormon

i think i would convert

Thank god

I am living in the dorms
a place where six girls spend their uni lives in

our beds are all coded and I number three
the girl in number four just happens to be from Tainan too
lucky me
she has short cropped hair and is a tom-boy

I plan to go back to Tainan secretly and spend my weekends with him.

I believe I am going to get caught sooner not later
so from my understanding of myself, I'll probably chicken out in the end and contact my parents in the end

I have a friend from the tooth fairy association.
He plans to have a cuppa with me and tell me all about them

alas...

your plight is easily solved

get married in kenting

i take it your the oldest sib

so it goes without saying that your younger spring-a-lings

will have it alot easier

i take it your living at home while going to univ?

and do you have a moto for your mojo?

you gotta incognito your libido

go underground...

Kenting you say?

I've already considered Kenting. I went over to his house for half the day (under adult supervision) and my parents went beserk... They think that this is something that I am allowed to do when I am considering marriage.

What to do? What to doooo?

My parents believe that they are very open-minded but in fact are very conservative.

Sometimes I feel as if a am writing a Dear Ann type of letter = =

I am one of those people that used to read Dear Ann letters for a laugh.

Why oh why do parents have to be so complicated?? Is it something in the genes? Is there something in our bodies that makes us unwilling to let offspring spring?

parents.....

i thought we talked about this
the real reason why parents sent their offspring to tk
funny phrase that one...guess it matters just how far "off" you intend on springing.
they are not gonna change
and you are an adult
wait for spring; when you want to go with the guy to kenting for three days
ha! your battles lay ahead

I am just starting university but I think I am just facing problems that TEENAGERS are suppose to be facing.

The world is ironic. I always thought that after starting a relationship with a guy the problems would be between the GUY and ME.

But nooooo

The problems turn out to be between the overprotective parents and the not homebody enough me.
They think that I am spending too much time outside. The problem is that they don't realize that I spend chunks of my time staring into space and sleeping at home.
Life is full of problems, I think I'll go read about the probelms of tooth faries.

anything by the writer would do, he thinks like you...i think
he has a new book out about the secret lives of tooth fairies

korean chicken kicking(TKD) is definitely hot, especially with girls.
I made red belt but I succumbed to peer pressure to
play football my first year of H.S., thus ending my korean kicking career

my father was a black belt...
he was also 6 feet six inches
and a marine...
he could definitely speak with his face....

my ankle is the bane of my existence, except with the x-ray girls
in the doctors office, they were fun. although they took extra x-rays b/c
they forgot to cover my genitals with a x-ray shield,
which probably means I'm sterile now
ohh well, children are over rated bumper stickers of pride and piss;
never liked the tikes; maybe that changes once they are yours..

Did you break your ankle during a vigorous basketball section? I don't understand how boys can be attracted to a sport that involes elbowing and bad sportsmanship and constantly breaking various bones in your body. I guess the same goes with guys not understanding how girls can be attracted to... tai kown do? Anyway... I am. And when I tell people, they give me the kind of look that says "your crazy i don't believe you you're probably just a white belt pretending to be very good at it". Then, I give them a look that says "be nice or I'll kick you".

To tell the truth, I never knew that face expressions could tell so much.

I'll go see how I can get my hands on elphaba, she sold out already at the bookstore I went to.

she is not a witch
her name is elphaba
i think
cant remember
I can not walk for two weeks
doctors orders
broke my ankle
so Im reading all day
passing out every three hours
waking up...reading passing out
actually I think the 24 hours thing
is over rated, everything worthwhile
should be done in intervals of three hours
its permanent conciousness, never sleeping, never awake
or maybe it works only in los angeles, where the weather never changes
it could be anyday, anytime, all the time?
did i mention I have a wooden cane?
it has a compass on the end of it, so when I walk I can tell
if Im heading south or north, or nowhere...

Do you mean the book about the wicked witch of the west?

I just chanced upon a book I think you wrote

no...it was your evil twin sister...its about your evil twin sister

you know

the one they dropped the house on.

I can not recommend this book enough,

if we were in class. I would make everyone read it

look for the book "wicked"

happy hunting

famous last words of a drummer to the rest of his band mates

"Ive been writing some songs."

Lead singer of the foo fighters and former drummer of nirvana, David G.

The silly things we do for love

I am in love with a drummer. He taught me the basics of drumming, showed me how to play pool, was the first boy to bring me home latter than 11:30, brought me bowling, smiled to me onstage while drumming, and makes me think of him everytime I hear a love song. I knew how many hearts were destended to be broken the moment I decided to love him.
Two.
His and mine.

I met him during his "All about lovin' you" phase. The soundtrack to his life consists of what song his band just happens to be practicing.

It's silly how I always had an inky little feeling that I would fall in love with a drummer. It's silly how I just happen to dislike lead singers. I find them quite egocentric. It's silly how after knowing him, I think the drummer as the most important figure in a band. They are the rhythm and soul of a band. He understands that music is soul. He isn't in a band to show off, he's in a band to drum his soul away.

And I love him for it.

ohh
ummm you asked a question and I guess should have answered
ru a rbc or sg


rbc
listens to Lanka from australia and knows the lyrics well

sg
listens to peaches from god only knows and regrets that he does

Amid the rush of applying for new schools, my computer has died on me. It left me with a mocking look on it's screen as I pleaded for it not to leave me. I cried out like a man left in the middle of the desert. Damn laptops.

As for my wisdom teeth. I'm supposed to have them pulled out, but since I stopped thinking about being a dentist, I have risen to the land of the dentist shirkers. My wisdom teeth have grown sideways. They are now lying immersed in my gums. Does that mean that I have wisdom, but my wisdom isn't straight? What is straight wisdom then? Anyway, lucky for my wisdom teeth, the dentist gave me gory details about how he planned to cut open my gums and dig out my sideways-wisdom teeth. I gave him a sweet smile and said that I would have to talk to my grandpa about that. I told him that my grandpa had to burn incense to ask our ancestors their opinion. He gave me a sceptical look and told me I was lying. I'm going to set my ancestors out on him.

I think I'll keep my sideways-wisdom teeth no matter how sideways they are.

I did in fact have my wisdom removed
I remember speaking about kansas before the gas took effect...affect?
I was told I might have problems walking
my younger brother had his wisom removed before me
and he vomited in the dentist office
I drove home and rented a movie
the lost children
its strange the things you remember
I was eating tortilla chips while watching the movie

Im getting just a good look at the window of old age now
which is like peering around the bend while test driving a sports car you cant afford
this is my new hobby right now
its a confidence game
if you show up with the right car, dressed for the part, and act a certain way,
you can test drive anything
the last week alone I driven
mercedes, audis. porches
my real goal is to drive to a dealer ship in a car Im already test driving
I drove a ferrari and found them absolutly useless
I want to drive a Bentley next week.
I will go back to the porche dealer
he will see my porche
I will act important "time is money"
maybe use an accent
my british is excellent
then by weeks end I will settle this obession of mine and buy a toyota
I can say there is nothing redeeming in old age you handnt already found in youth

"Back at me Mums"
sounds better british

Im going to meet my deadlines from here, write, and help her knock down a fence
she is remodeling her back yard
in her backyard there is an apple tree
she wants take it out and I tell her not to
its been there since I was a kid
at night, rabbits come and eat the rotten apples
and her dog chases them out of the yard
its a little game
me mum picked the apples from the tree so they wouldnt fall and attract rabbits
she says she will make apple pie but she is too busy and the apples rot in a dish
I started throwing the apples back out into the yard
Im waiting for something now

yes, that is clever of you
his teeth were like socks
why we would say "in" is obsurd
in what.
go with a smile
what with baby teeth so ready to up and leave the mouth
for what?
what is in youth that we lose in wisdom teeth?
have you surgicaly removed yoru wisdom teeth?

At least he died with his teeth on.

he worked on the first floor
he was one of the first people I met
I remember mistaking him for someone else
he had been there as long as furniture and dust
and I misread that for authority, clout, something

on the second floor were the writers
detatched, hethens, paid to make themselves into problems
so management could talk to their wives, stories of the impossibilty,
they were a bore without the daily whinings of writers,
not worth fucking, worth salsbury steak

when it happened the shelves in the cubicle nearly killed me
they didnt crash but lean towards me
he was a sports writer or a movie critic, one forgets
but when when took the stairs down to the first floor to see what had happened
we saw a man crushed by an elevator, spasms, throat gurgling,
he reached for his fake teeth, put them back in his mouth and died.
It was the man I mistaked for some one important
his name was Henry Miller.

we never stopped to think about what others thought after we saw
that man put in his teeth

I'm sorry I let you down, but I was never the girl you thought I was. You say I've changed, perhaps. But I thought you understood. Changing is a part of who I am. You say I get confused who the real me is, when or when not I am playing pretend. All I can tell you is that behind every mask is me. Every mask is the real me. I once asked you whether or not you understand me. You gave me one of your know-it-all smiles and told me that I am a slate. All of me is exposed for the world to see. How could I not know you then? you asked. I knew then that you saw what you wanted to see, you believed what you wanted to believe.

I'm sorry I didn't shed a tear during our parting. You said that I've already changed to the point where I am an unfamiliar stranger. I said that I don't need a stranger as a friend.
The biggest mistake you made is believeing you figured me out.

Meredith Brooks once sang
I'm a bitch I'm a lover
I'm a child I'm a mother
I'm a sinner I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
you know you wouldn't want it any other way

I can assure you that I'm 95% child and 5% whatever i feel like.
I enjoy dreaming of all the ways I could sin and do only half of the things I dream.
I don't play the saint and I secretly wish I am a changling from hell.

Am I more a SG or a RBC?

I think Im in love with a suicide girl

its not the first time though...

Suicide girls get old quickly

hence the suicide

My first sucide girl lived in the valley and

worked in a video store

she made movies, the kind you could only rent in her store

we made a movie together once

but she could'nt come to the final day of editing becuase

it was on fathers day

the editor and I broke into her apartment

actually I was let in by the landlord becuase he was a german artist

who understood that art waits for no one

my editor took a monster shit in her bathroom


while I found the movie and put it in a bag

later she gave me phone call

she knew I that I broke into her apartment not

becuase I stole our lovc child of a movie to be editied and finished

but becuase my editor stunk up her apartment with his shit

she was a suicide girl

S.G.

It was the worst movie I ever made becuase I thought it would be easy

I was wrong
once, I was an innocent little girl who thought that spaghetti was the kind of food that was impossible to get wrong..... I mean how can tomato sauce and noodles go wrong? But after two horrible experiences of lumpy noodles, over salty and acrid sauce, I bow down my defeated head and admit that spaghetti is, in fact, the kind of instable food that can go wrong. How can restaurants be hard -hearted enough to serve that kind of spaghetti?!?! My face strongly resembled the expression I had when I heard that "I'm a barbie girl... in a barbie world..." song.

"yo wazz up wesss site!!!

righta bout now weez gonna break off a lil' dat sticky icky icky!

fo shizzle on my nizzle let keeps it gangsta ya'll keep it gangsta!

hope yo ass nailed that shit wit dat interview

cuzz if them mutha fuckas be passing on yo ass

weez a bout straight trippin on them mutha fuckas"

Hello my dear tomato haired bosom friend!
don't you think bosom friend is the funniest expression ever?
my boooosom friend!
(please emphasize the boo at the beginning, it makes it so much more victorian)
I can just imagine a starry eyed deb saying to her most unfortunately plain lady friend, oh my dear dear Jane dahling, you are my most important boooosom friend!
anyway, LA has been good to your health, hasn't it?
I've also noticed your most interesting LAian accent!
how adorable!
how wonderful!
how absolutely unique!

= =
I don't think I will ever try to be victorian ever again, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

120 days is on wikipedia

FO FREE!!!

let me guess, you read freakanomics and you think everything has an answer do you? do YOU?

tell the dj your feelings about motorbikes vs scooters...that will get you in

Hello my carrot-haired amigo!
I've tried looking for the books you suggested and I was disappointed again and again...
People in Taiwan don't care much for crazy literature, do they?
Well, no worries, I have my ways.
Just to let you know... I am going to major in finance and/or economics
the stock market needs some crashing XD
shocked?
don't be, it'll be fun
oh and I've asked the DJ about DJing
and he told me to send in a tape of my voice for about thirty seconds
apparently, other than paying for your internship, you also have to have some sort of special connection
Taiwan is a beastly place for an innocent little girl like me.

For you I would start with

The Dirt: "Confessions of the most notorious rock bands"
biography on Motley Crue.

Perv: "A love story" by Jerry Stahl

Marquise De Sade "120 days of Sodom"

happy hunting ravished fiend ;)

absolutely famished
any suggestions for a healthy diet of crazy literature?

If I hear your words about no one hearing you
the worst thing I could do to you is say that I do
I here my mouth saying things you said
it tells my voices there is no end
but I happen to know you can kill it off
when I hear your mouth saying things Ive said

When I talk loud louder loud
I don't care if anyone is listening
All I want is
to stop hearing the mess inside me

When I go fast faster fast
I don't care if gravel skins my knees
All I want is
to out run the voices

When I quiet down
I care if anyone sees me
I am not ready yet to
introduce me to the world

the RBCs are back.
after stuffing ourselves with all the Rocky Mountains Marshmellows we could get our roots on
we have decided to overthrow the MOTHER TAMPON
we have decided that her holy motherness has become her holey motherness
she no longer has the power she once had over us
she is now ...... HOLEY
TAMPONS BEWARE
this is not just your usual sugar infused rebellion
we RBCs have been alert and sugar-free ( in other words sober ) for two hours now
and we are ready to change society's rusty and holey way of doing things
we will overthrow the MOTHER TAMPON and build an all new utopia with Grade-A tampons for all and no annual sacrfices
RBCs will live properous lives
RBCs shall build a new dynasty where carrots never grow old and tampons never become holey!!!!

everyone is weird

some people are just really good at it

Why are women obbsessed with high heels? Do heels really make your strut better? Perhaps heels are really worth the trouble. Just like dying hair, painful, troublesome, but it adds that bit of confidence. Women are weird.

what is freedom if you never have the right to express it

my first motorycle was not a harley
it was a shadow
and I would strap a guitar to the back of it
I thought myself the devil back then and that guitar was my hound of hell
my muse...you cant look for trouble...freedom...love... on anything but a motorcycle
scooters are for women who want to keep there legs closed
and men who are afraid of whats between theirs.

but it has nothing to do with hair metal...it is rock and roll, old school, real...
it is the stones, back sabbath...maybe even early van halen...maybe and Im stretching
it like vinyl pants on that one...

"joan jet" of joan jet and the black hearts was a motorcycle in a previous life

Maybe I was born on a Harley. That would explain my mindless love for 80's rock and long hair. Perhaps that would also explain my fastination for motorbikes, not scooters, motorbikes. I mean scooters scoot. (Is there such a word?!) Motorbikes rumble, they call for a kind of wild untamed respect, wolves of the city. I rode a motorbike yesterday, and I was born again.
ROCK ON!!!

When I was a little las in the states, grandparents in storybooks and in the community were withered old people with broad smiles. Grandmothers tended to have a wonderful cinnamon-applepie kind of homely smell whenever you hugged them and they always had a cookie handy. Grandfathers would sit you in their lap and tell you stories of the good old days. Of course, my grandparents were living in Taiwan at the time, so I had to imagine what Taiwanese grandparents would be like. In my innocent little mind, I thought Taiwanese grandparents would be no different. The snacks they baked and the stories they told would probably be a bit different, but they would still be kindly little figures.
When I moved back to Taiwan, everything was a complete bundle of new sights, sounds, and smells. Whenever I walked into my Grandparents home, strong scents of chinese herbs would force it's way up my nostrils. You could also see my disappointment when I found out traditional Taiwanese didn't have dessert after every meal. What about my homemade cookies?! Instead of a grandma that planted daisies and made sweets, my grandma planted garlic and raised poultry. She would slaughter a chicken everytime my family went back to visit. The chicken would always be lying peacefuly head and all in the middle of the table. Surrounding the chicken would usually be around ten plates of traditional stir-fry or steamed foods. Grandma's biggest nightmare was that we become malnurished from all that unhealthy city food. She would nag us until we were so full we could only lay with our eyes half-closed like the chicken. Of all the dishes she would prepare, my lovely granny would always fry up a batch of chicken blood... from that very chicken.
My first impression of Grandpa was of him picking on his toenails. Another thing that set him apart from mainstream Grandpas was that he enjoyed adding a curse word at the end of every sentence. Curse words in grandpa's dictionary was something that could be used as a greeting or a goodbye, an explanation of happiness or simply as a curse. Great with me! He enjoyed walking around in his boxers and had to eat everything before anyone else. Grandpa rode a large motorbike and would speed through the traffic lights just like any 18 year old. I loved riding in the back. It gave mommy a heart attack. He would ride us around town and take us to meet other old friends of his. I especially enjoyed it when he took us to a general store his friend owned. I could stuff my pocket with everything money could buy there.
In the end, I discovered that no matter how different my grandparents were, they still loved me in there own special way. It wasn't hard to see from the happy curse grandpa greeted me with everytime a got home or the smile on grandma's face whenever I reached out for a second helping of chicken blood.

give a man a mask and he will tell you the truth

coffee with a friend was a very special experience
held back truths
not lies
just held back truths
held back pasts and half dreams of the future
joking everytime the air started to condense
perhaps we are like that
held back half-people of who we wish we could be
hiding our fears behind laughter and jokes about whatever

nobody wants to face who they really are

life is hard
but it pays well
and on top of that my mom asked me to
she's MOM
MOMs do not accept no for an answer
they can be understanding and a wonderful shoulder to cry on
BUT
that does not mean you can get your way
when MOMs want something
they will use all means to achieve it

why do you want to be around small children who pee in pools
and spit in your face...i dont understand?

teaching little kids swimming is very fulfilling
in the GOD DAMN IT I WISH I COULD SQUISH THEM kind of way
they spit in your face whenever they can and run around the pool emiting scream-shreeks
they refuse to swim when you tell them to
and whenever you get the nerve to grab them and tickle them
you have to look nervously behind your back to see if the parents saw
if they just happenned to be too busy gossipping then you're in luck
however if they just happenned to see tickle scream incident, then you will have to face the tight smiles and disapproving stares
the only thing you can do about that is clumsly pat the migets head and beam back at the parent

in class A there is a mix of students
some are just learning to frog-swim
others are already practicing the hard butterfly
if you ask me, they look more like earthworms
not caterpillers, earthworms
they have not yet aquired the graceful inching of a caterpiller
they look more like earthworms when you throw them in water
wiggling for dear life with arms waving helplessly in the air
as for the frog-swimmers
they are a potentialy dangerous group
be careful while you walk through them
skinny frog legs kick all that are unassuming

i just happen to be a TA for class A
being a TA is a wonderful experience
the students never listen to you because you are not a teacher
they pick on you and find ways to make you look bad in front of the TEACHER
what ever happened to innocence?

i sat in front of the computer
and looked at your posts
i suddenly felt empty
and then i started listening to the song
that song
keep your eyes ahead
then i started to cry
perhaps it was the fact that my mom just had coffee with me this morning
god that makes it sound like i'm being fired from my position as a daughter
or perhaps it was the fact that i've been having a hard time finding a balence point between family and friends
or perhaps it is just because i'm a girl and girls cry
wait but jennys don't cry

coffee with mom was like going to the bathroom in a night market where bathrooms are impossible to find and dirty when you finially find one
the moment you step into the bathroom you ask god why you just had to have four glasses of watermelon juice
the floor is dirty from the clumsy before you
the toilet has a grimy, sad look... a homeless person type of toilet
but no matter how homeless the toilet is
you are still thankful afterwards
coffee with mom was like that
you ask yourself how did you let everything build up inside you
all the little insecurities
all the dirty little thoughts
of how unfair it is for them to expect so much from you
of how unfair it is for them to want you to stay in Taiwan just because you are smarter then your sister
of how unfair it is for them to want you to give up studing in Taiwan now that they are afraid of knowing your test scores
of how unfair it is for them to want you to take SAT now that the entrance exams are over and done with
of how unfair the whole bloody world is
but you feel better afterwards

finding a balence point between family and friends is not an easy task when there is a tug-of-war with you in the middle
it is not an easy task when a possive friend wants to hold on to you so tight that you can't breathe
you want to tell him to let go
but you can't say the words aloud

or perhaps it just is because i'm a girl
or a very sissy jenny

keep your eyes ahead

I just sat down to unpack...there isn't much in the lines of things I really
wanted to take back so I wasn't in a hurry to open anything

When I opened the book and read what you wrote I wanted to talk to you

Thought I should have tried harder to smuggle you into a country that would have allowed you to flourish like a venomous weed, or an oversized fish.

The first song in the youtube box down below is for you

it takes me three visits to buy clothes

1# I end up talking to the sales girl about music and dont look at the receit to see that she overcharged me

2# I return obe shirt becuase it didn't look right in my home mirror, even thought it still looked really good in the store mirror...how do mirrors do that? And I got the right price...but then I saw something I hadn't seen before and decided I needed to come back later in the day

3# I return to buy more clothes but I was fooled by the tricky sales price, I refused to buy any of their tricky clothes

4# I returned again becuase I decided I really liked the clothes and was willing to pay extra for them. I guess it has to do with the time of day I feel like spending money and the time of day in which I dont

5# I have to return one of the items I bought becuase I just looked at the size and didnt actually try them on and when I got home I realzied there is a began difference between Levi jeans 501 and levi jeans "relaxed fit."

6# I will be returning to the store again to by the relaxed fit jeans

The song will posted on myspace very soon I think and ....IN CHINESE!

seem you have a long long morning
well... forgive my ignorance
don't know your e-mail
or you mean this "istealtree" gmail

seriously
i'm glad i can be in this sad class
so many things won't happen if i was a happy class student
though the test stops to the limit
though we have late vocation
though we have to spend two or three day taking an exam of one easy to have an examination to health
I am thankful for all of these
it is not only part of my life, but also a wonderful memory
i didn't think the relationship between classmates is so precious
Now, there is someting different
I just want to say thank you to all my teachers, classmate, friends

first day in LA

1. drink real coffee
2. drink more coffee
3. try to go back to sleep because you realize it's only 4:30 in the morning (damn all that coffee)
4. watch tv
5. go for a walk
6. eat left over mexican food
7. It' only 10:30 a.m.
8. Drink a beer
9. call best friend and yell chinese curse words into his answer machine
10. watch more tv

I finished a song I wrote and was lucky enough to have friends in taiwan come join me with their guitars, drums and throats on my last day in Taiwan. If you want to hear this song send me an email.

adios in La - jc

about sad class
now we can enjoy this summer vocation
thank god for this wonderful day

white is all the color rolled into one

when everything gets in and nothing is reflected
or maybe its the other way around
if everything gets in than why is heaven always white
why do we see a white light?
if everything gets into heaven is it really heaven?
i like to think of it that way
somebody should really tell the church
this whole white-light-is-every-color-and-therefore-not-really-white-thus-everyone-goes-to heaven-theory-Ijust cooked up...

all I know is white is every color
and that black doesn't occur in nature...uhh...naturally
it is the anti-color
it doesnt want to play reindeer games
it doesnt get invited to color parties
it is the color of my second car

and another thing...cuss I like to talk about the church so much...if we were created in gods image
than does that make us black or white...does heshe fit into this color thing. and if at the moment we are born, which...according to christians is the very moment the sperm and egg begin to take shape (which I must point out, we look like sea horses) does that mean that god is a sea horse?
not to mention we are unisexed with gills...this is going way to far...but if this is what christians mean as "the point of conception," than I'm all for worshipping a god who is a black and white zebra colored unisexed sea horse.

white is the color of
clouds that people say have all the freedom in the world
floating with ease
people are wrong
it is the invisible wind that decides
much like us
except we are behind the steel bars of the classroom while clouds are not
maybe it is the same wherever we go

white is the color
of hospitals
of walls
of hair they call platinum blond
of stags fit for prince charming
and of the dazzeling light i saw reflected from john's head

nice hair cut

i would like a black car

red is always trying to sell you something.
Red is a salesman
definitely an extrovert
it says..."I wanna go fast!"

yellow has a split personality
prone to mood swings...or is it...moon swings?

if you own a green car apparently you are the happiest drivers in the world
but I can only think of one person who I know who drives a green car and she is not happy
in fact she bought the car used and cheap and i don't think she cares for color
stay away from people who buy black cars, they are controlling
but white is for people who cant make there minds and "just want to blend in"

that leaves us with blue...the miss understood step child of the color kingdom
we are wired for blue. its the fastest color but it's easily destroyed, hence sunsets which are the best part of any day, but it is associated with sadness, melancholy, lethargic grey weather and jazz...blue deserves more credit than this. of course this sacrifice that blue makes everyday when the sun goes down still goes largely unnoticed.

color comment

there is no one beside me
well...i 'll do my best

red let me think of the lip stick
it's a gracious color, bright also
the king also wears in red
that is the only kind of red i like
about others...no, i don't like it at all

yellow...don't you think it is color of the sun
it's so bright that sometimes you might not notice it
it's not a showy color
but if i have to choose a color for "hope"
i'll choose yellow
and about the dirty yellow you say
well...yes...it is dirty
it's just like something goes wrong

bright green is natual color
fresh, new...
but green is hard to match
the only one i can think of is yellow
just like blood type
green is AB
and yellow is O

and the blue
blue is... hmm...blue
it's calm color
well...i means dark blue
but the blue sky you see in the day time
i like that color
but i don't know why
i can't even think of a reason

i seem to always associate the color with nature
maybe... everyone is the same

We have entered the white room

We saw the gas coming through the vents

and then there was nothing

Dorothy Parker was right

prayer of the sad class people
Dear god:
now i lay my weary head
full of chinese math and dread
please let me die before i wake
no more tests then i shall take
make it a quick heart attack
Amen

about rita
it didn't surprise me actually
lots of people want to be the principle of dk
she probably didn't get it by telling the truth everytime
it's ironic though, all our classes have a sign in the back telling us to be polite and tell the truth at all times
i smirk everytime i see it now

The Bangkok Five

My old drummer and his band have a new album, It's in Taipei but not Tainan

If you want to buy it please go to myspace.com/thebangkokfive

Tell Ray, (the drummer) John sent you ;)

SUPPORT THE ROCK!!!

Pumpkin season

I have a pumpkin

It sits on my left speaker...I'm listening to smashing pumpkins

On the right speaker is a plastic halloween pumpkin.

It's strange for to be looking at pumpkins during summer

I bought my pumpkin from a lady on the side of the road in nantou

While I was buying my pumpkin a tiny obnoxious blue truck drove by blaring a loud speaker...selling something or someone I never can tell the difference when all of a sudden the blue truck, starting playing Beethovens "ode to joy" I thought that was funny, I wonder if he ever thought his music would end up coming from a blue truck in the middle of noweher nantou, that can we really say what will happen in the future at all, who knows where anything ever ends up?

Rita seemed to be in tears.

I ran into your classmate on my way down the stairs. I stared at the math teacher's three hairs on his head and how his face turns red after walking five flights of stairs. I heard your classmate, well x-classmate because she is in the gratefully dead happy class that does nothing but sleep and watch movies say to me... "be nice to her." And I remember thinking that was strange, I have always been nice to her as I'm with all who are nice. and she is. even if her ethics may run astray at times, Rita wants to be nice...and she even wants to be brave, bold, to show the world the truth...but she can't, she has too many people to answer to, and this why she has tolerated some one like me for so many years...I have pissed everyone off at your school. From the Dean to teachers, to nuns, but Rita knows why...because I have done it all in the name of the students, for the students, she has trusted me to always be honest, even when it is not popular among nuns, teachers, or deans...so I was stricken odd by the fact that when I walked into her office indeed, her eyes were red. I asked what was wrong, and she told me she had no money. That she couldn't pay for the happy music class I had wanted, that she needed to borrow money from the bank to pay for a swimming pool and I told her to look at me and I said..."I would teach the class for free." and then she told me the truth...a truth that is the ugly nature of that school of yours and one that I will not share with you until you are completely free of it...

My faults are that I want to believe
I want to trust what comes out of mouths
My faults are that I'm no different than her and that at times I want to hold my head in my hands and ask myself..."Why didn't I just tell them this...why didn't I just I say it this way instead of that way...why didn't I tell them...

there is only one truth
everything is a lie

There is an Italian story that says it much better...Italians are the kings of Liars...

An old man was walking away from a village and he see another man walking towards it. He tells the man, "don't trust anyone in that village they are all liars." The other man replies "why?'
and the old man says...

It sounds better in Italian...

Your faults are there to make sure you dont' become a robot. a cog..a pencil pusher...a tax accountant...embrace them like bad teeth... and cipher through the people who smile with you and those who say..."you know...you should really straighten those teeth." Don't talk to people who talk of dentistry....there is nothing worse than false teeth.

about the question i wanted to ask you...
what are my faults?


i was going to ask you in person
(this is a question that has haunted me ever since tinna during six grade suddenly annouced that she didn't want to be my friend anymore, i think i've gotten over her but this question still facinates me)
but you hurried off for coffee with rita
hope you had a good time :)

I've being thinking about this too

measuring time is strange...the koreans have a word for the longest duration of time in the world.
like we say year...and you think one year. you know its lengths and how long it takes. in korean there is a word which tells a story about a magic water fairy who springs out of the ocean every 1000 years or so and flies up to touch the sky, in doing so she always accidentally scrapes her fairy wings along the top of highest mountain in korea on her journey towards the sky. The time it will take for her to scrape the mountain, little by little, every thousand years, until the mountain disappears into the ocean, that's how long this word is.

we could surely think of better ways of measuring time instead of using birthdays

I just found out that it takes exactly 412.3 licks to get to the center of a "totsie pop" we could measure lengths of time this way

I knew a guy who measured his walking distance from point a to point b by how much beer he drank while walking towards his destination. "It's five beers away."

driving home my thoughts went like this

"Why does the guy with the motorcycle with all that white smoke feel he should be at the front of the motorcycle line waiting for the red light to change? Does he know he's filling my lungs with mercury and lead?"

I always think I'm this close to saying something to him, even giving him money to fix his motorcycle even, because his pants are covered in paint and I can tell he doesn't care if the sunlight changes the color of his skin. He is probably poor, and I keep my mouth shut

Then I think about Taiwan. I think it's a silly place, runs on silly juice.
My second thought reads like this, "Taiwan is a country of children."

And that is good and bad. They are curious...Good. They are immature and expect the government to raise they're children, teach them how to drive ect. Bad... yet I'm the one in my thirties with an electric guitar on my back and a pair black drum sticks sticking out the bag. Silly country, silly thoughts, I hate the foreigners who take themselves too seriously here...why?

Well, back to age...According to the bible, your not even human until you are eighteen which if I read right...that means you have another year...the word "neshema" means "soul" and according to the bible you don't even have one yet...another year I'm afraid...so without a soul, how can you be human and contemplate such things?...ohh right...the bible is full of things like that...your right...lets put that book down for a nap

well...can you simultaneously be entering adulthood and menopause at the same time? hmmm...
well...only if your fed up on your current state of being...I recommend watching the film "Dead poets Society," and then getting back to me regarding this question. The one things science hasn't figured out is entropy and we are victims of it...get used to it...laugh and make laugh lines...
happy birthday who ever you are...17...god...your like a half life to me..

Birthdays are a ridiculous kind of thing. Man, after learning how to use fire, being able to chew gum and walk at the same time, and walking on the moon, still measure people by how many earth-years they have lived through. Earth years i may be seventeen, but actually i feel six or fourteen or fifty-seven all rolled up in one.

What I have found in Senior Three

A message

To C301
You asked me if I was happy and I was honest. You showed your heart and became my favorite class from the start. As time went by I lost a few of you and I wondered why? I realized later that I can not reach everyone and I must cherish the time with those I can. The great lesson in life. I saw you at the bottom of my stairs. I was going out to excercise and you later told me that the owner of the shop is a mean lady with a lot of money, I smiled, and every day when I look at her with her new "surgery widened eyes." I think of you
you know who you are

To C302
I have been here for four years, and for four years I have searched for a voice. I didn't know it was what I was looking for until I heard you sing. Soon Taiwan will know you voice
you know who you are

To C303
We stole the music teachers classroom for a day and I heard you try and find a 3/3 tempo on the drums. I didn't get hear you sing because you had to scream to let the drummer hear you becuase the tempo was difficult
you know who you are

To C304
This is the class that I never saw coming and I'm sure the world will have the same feeling. Expect great things from this class. Remember...sound never actually dies, it just bounces and ricochets until it gets smaller and smaller, but it never actually dies.....make a sound C304, you will be heard! And your song will be sung
you know who you are

To C305
This was a rowdy class full of students trying hard to pass exams who just went crazy in my class becuase they had no other place to do so. But they were sweet, and they spoke out, probably to distract me from giving them further tests
you know who you are

To S301
I have seen the face that holds a laugh that I will know forever. I want the person with that laugh to call me when I'm down, far away. Just to hear it, would bring both tears and joy,
you know who you are

To S302
I was there for you when a student had lost it all, and I took you outside of the classroom, looked down on a school that for better for worse tries to live within a system that tries to make us all small. We looked out on the long abandoned lawn surrounding a statue that no one seems to know and I told you that I loved you all and that is still true. Then we ate sushi
you know who you are

To S303
They say good things come in three's and bad. I have yet to feel I have reached any class that ends in 3. I have been lucky to find a few of you...That can dance, that have seen the birth place of my father, and it has been a great lesson for me, you can not reach them all, always focus on the few you have
you know who you are

To S304
This is the after bell class, there was conversation always after the bell. We learned Turkish, Spanish, and the true origins of Christmas. This is a class that has no individual moment or student with whom I don't feel we shared something special. Even if I'm not a good Christian, you listened and showed you were.
you know who you are

To S305
This class was waiting for me to take off my head and show them that I was really a space alien. I could tell they were waiting for me to go crazy and I never gave it to them. My favorite student had a hard time finding a home in this class, but I know she felt comfortable with me and from there I got to met a whole grip of talent. The Bass teacher who taught my students on Friday's. The quiet biologist who likes to study human anatomy. The girl with the boys name who grew her hair long. You have all scared me like a tattoo, even if I told you never to get one
you know who you are

To S306
This is the dead poets class. I didn't have a chance to speak to everyone because I was too busy being caught in acting like the teacher from dead poets society. There were students who's English was well...INSANE! And I ran with it for better for worse. This class was the one I wish I had every day nonstop for 8 hours. I'm sure we could cure cancer, end wars, steal Christmas trees and top it off with soldier boy all within a days work...oh wait, we did. This class brought me my worst feeling as a teacher and that with great responsibility there is always a price. I will seek out years of constructive therapy to right the feelings I had that afternoon
you know who you are

To all Senior Three

Never forget who you are
Never forget where you come from
It is only an illussion that we are seperate
we are one
the world is listening
it's time to speak out

yours forever
john

It is what turns poetry into prose
eroticism into porn
opera into H.S. Musical
French fries into Freedom Fries
Music into KTV
Education into Exams
NBA into SBL
Street food into instant noodles
Afterlife into death
Roses into plastic roses
People into Politicians
Teachers into Paper weights
Friends into FaceBook
Conversations into diatribes
Pirates of the Carribean into Pirates of the Caribean 2
Me into you
You into Me

What is sex without love?

If I had three wishes...

"First I want to have money. Becuase I can do anything I want, like travel all over the world, see different cultures, becuase I can not be limited to this small island and broaden my horizens.

Secondly, I want to master hip hop. Because I want to be groovy...excercise my body to being healthy, saying goodbye to horrible disease and terrible viruses. I will say "YO Yo Yo! get out off my body!"

Thirdly, I wish that all my wishes come true...HAHAHAHAHA Yes, it's a great wish, without reasons...everyone wants this

"I don't."

You don't? So what's your three wishes?

Me?

Ya.

I wish I could take back last friday...like go back in time...not play any dodgeball ever again!

"Do you think dodgeball is a dangerous game?"

When you play with a three hundred pound gorilla named John...YES!
It is very dangerous!

Secondly, I want a tv remote that can do anything...Like make Wang Zu Ren shut up with the push of a button.

Thirdly, I want to go to the mirror and see me myself thirty years from now.

If you could have three wishes, what would they be.

Do you think relations with China will improve this year?

I think it is wonderful, the cross strait relationship will imprve this year...I'm finished...

"John disagrees"

I saw this news yesterday

"And?"

And I think the future in Taiwan will be prosperous

"I think Taiwan will slowly melt into Mainland China...Like Hong Kong"

One country. no system

"???"

I think President Horse won't let Taiwan sloly become part of China. All he wants to do is save the economy in Taiwan

And the conference I saw BoAo looked very peacefull. Vice President Small has been friends Mr Flower. so he will help Taiwan become a powerfull nation."

WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!

On the other hand, Mr Shit criticized the conference...I forget what he said, but he wasn't happy.

confessions of a heartless vegetable

TOOL "Sober"

There's a shadow just behind me
shrouding every step I take
making every promise empty
pointing every finger at me

Waiting like a stalking butler
who upon the finger rests
Murder now the path of "must we"
just before the son has come

Jesus, won't you fucking whistle
something but the past and done?

Why can't we not be sober?
I just want to start this over
Why can't we drink forever
I just want to start this over

I am just a worthless liar
I am just an imbecile
I will find a center in you
I will chew it up and leave
I will work to elevate you
just enough to bring you down

Trust me

Mother mary wont you whipser
something but what's past and done

Trust me

I want what I want

Firstly:

uhhhh..heheee.uhh, Because I chose to study at T.K. when I was in junior H.S. And I htink T.k. has allot of english activities, and it makes me have a lot of interest in english. Thats why I start to think "Maybe I can chose to major in foreign languages." So...I just set my goal to set the world on fire. yah, exactly."

Another reason I want to choose outsider studies, is because my older brother majored in Spanish in Wenzao H.S. It aroused my curiosity about other languages. Not just english!!!!!!

"Do you think Language will define your future?"

My job in the future will be related to what I learn....so...yes!

"I think my life was defined by the electric guitar."

When I travel abroad, I can put what I learn into practice and I will have no obstacles to talking to foreigners.

"I heard that they are going to create a small computer that you can put in your ear, and it will translate the sounds of all languages into your mother tongue by 2011. Any thoughts?"

We can not pin our future upo n a tiny machine...even though it may be useful. It will lose the truthfullness of learning.

Why does the international world care so much for Tibet, but not Taiwan?

I think first,

China is more prominent in the world than Taiwan. The problem with Tibet began in the 1950's, as the problem in Taiwan also began the same time. The only reason: The Dali Lama has fame for wanting peace with communists. Actually I don't know what is wrong with Taiwan. So can you tell me your opinion?

Foreigners think Taiwanese are smart enough to solve their own problems?

No no no this is not a good reason.

John is so stupid, but Taiwanese are even dumber

(she's thinking really hard and she doesn't want anyone to know who she is.

"Perhaps, this is the problem...in order for the world to know who you are, you need to know first. Do Taiwanese have a treu indentity?"

The Dali Lama is a respected spiritual leader with books printted all over the world. He is a man of compassion, who can express his love for not just the people in Tibet, but of universal love for all." He is a spirit father to those in Tibet.

But Taiwanese are good with technology...computers...Taiwan has the most computer savvy city in the world. Taipie is a thousand years ahead of cities in the United States when it comes to technology...so why is no one listening?

Is there anybody out there?

Vernor Vinge..The science fiction writer who is on the threshold of ideas like singularity
(also an RBC turned BRBC) believed the government was creating a way in order to read his mind, steal his thoughts, and create weapons based upon his insane brilliance. He thought that if he fed his brain a constant stream of pop music; that he could block out the government's ability to steal his prized thoughts...

I understand this is quiet often a tactic used for most rbcs who wish to deny their calling.
They're have been many potential rebel baby messiahs but they have denounced this option of life. and are happy to be living in Northern California on government checks payed for by the cia
(cucumber idol assassins) and fed a steady diet of mind numbing yet gratefully dead pumpkin seeds.

Why, oh why, must the black rebel carrots deny their Messianic calling of the salad cancer?

hello? this is the MDRBC speaking
oh, you probably know me as jenny from my wild days

hm?

oh it means Marshmellow Devouring Rebel Baby Carrot

i'm fine thanks

I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU
THESE FIVE WORDS I SWEAR TO YOU
WORDS CAN'T SAY WHAT LOVE CAN DO

between soaking in the essence of decomposing animal fats and simple sugars

I'M ALL OUT OF LOVE
I'M SO LOST WITHOUT YOU

i've also been juggling my time listening to corny old rock songs

YOU WERE BORN TO BE MY BABY
BABY I WAS MADE TO BE YOUR MAN

i guess you can tell

I'LL BE THERE FOR YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU

sorry, the background rbcs are getting carried away
hang on a sec.

SHUT UP!

......

there, better
okay so you're saying that i'm a what?!
rbm... why not BRBC( black rebel baby carrot )
*sign*
i've always dreamed of being a black rebel baby carrot
what a dream come true!
i don't want anything to do with the messiah s***

hm

hm

NO! you can't tell me to save the RBCs from the queen scented tampon!
they can't live without her
her stong fragrances are what keep the island ecosystem going
i thought you knew!
she's the sun to this island

......

yes, i'm listening
but she's really dangerous
i've heard that if anyone goes within a mile near her
her scents kill
and if anyone does manage to go 500 meters near her
she will start giving off lethal sound waves

hm

hm

but i just saved myself from university!!
you can't do this to me

holy crap
life sucks

fine, let me think about it
i need to think this over a bag of decomposing fat

'kay, bye
i'll call you when i've done enough research

I'D HOLD YA
I'D NEED YA
I'D GET DOWN ON MY KNEES FOR YOU
AND MAKE EVERYTHING ALRIGHT
IF YOU WERE IN THESE ARMS