i gave your blog a soundtrack
first vid, to your right, does it work?

must be one steep hill

sitting in the back of a tandem bike is the scariest thing in the world

i sat on the back letting by my boyfriend lead

on uphills i would pedal with all my might eventhough i knew that i wan't helping

on downhills
i would grab the handles feeling my hands sweat
and convince myself to trust him
and let him lead
and try to scream the fear out
and glance about only to see the back of his white t-shirt
white?!

i gave up
simply standing was a much easier way to chicken out

goverment is the new religion
not your country
not mine
Ive waited in line every friday
learned to celebrate friday
grabbed the last of bread from naked shelves
this is government, forcing business to close
in the name of religion, every saturday and sunday
no shoppping, no fire, no travel
every friday a mad dash before sundown
before the sound of electronic prayer sirens
everyone shopping mad
every friday

your country likes to have pictures in the classroom
likes to have a father watching over them

my country is a baby maker with multiple wives
my city is its queen
telling everyone thats everyday is a holiday
and home to the most dangerous highways

I just learned that jews view locusts as being kosher
be gentle...be gentile...

Chinese New Year along with shopping coupons add up to people romping the streets of anywhere with department stores. I’ve never seen such a frenzy. What is wrong with the Taiwanese government?!

www.watchtvsitcoms.com

click on tv shows

flight of the concords

happy hunting

yours trully

mr brown shirt

Moral of this story:

Don't tell Johns in brown T-shirts your name.

you could lose your job

i just came home early from a club because a bar tender spilt my drink in my lap
This club, mind you, zanzibar, is the peace, hippy meca of new age santa monica dousche bags and nigerian world music. I felt chill watching the old civil rights videos being played ona brick wall above the dance floor. I felt like I had seen a change of hands in the world, with this obamamania sweeping the country

I yelled over the reggae music "makers mark neat" so she could make me another and she looked at me with a "it was your fault asshole" kinda look. I smiled and asked for her name "Cat.. and don't you forget it" she said. I asked if she knew my name? She said nothing and I left. I talked to the bouncers, got the managers name, her hair color, they told me the color of her blouse. I went back in and found her taking money from people coming in and stamping peoples hands. She looked like a single mother who had just returned from an ashram in india. I told her and I can't believe I said this...That I needed to "cut out" to another show and I asked if she remembered me from KCRW, she said yes, told me to wait. I told her I was going outside, friends were upset, I covered this already. She came running out with a t-shirt, apologizing, something about email and guest lists, home know, Im wearing a brown shirt that says "afro funk" the name of the club. Im thinking about the nigerian singer Im missing, about how this city looks out for me, for anyone, they are all the same, whores to convicts, all are running scared from something, any one. Santa Monica is fun as hell when it comes to this becuase the someones are trying so hard to like no one while the ...well, you get it. True no ones can come of like some ones if they know this. I just dont like the idea of a bikini clad bar tender losing her job because of the no one any one law of this city, not in this economy, but the shirt fits perfect

aren't they all the same?

priests, whores, nuns, convicts, did deguang prepair you not?

Les Mis is dense
it's one of those books that took a while before it sucked me in
like mercury
I floated on top wondering what's gonna happen next
until I found myself sucked in, all of the sudden
all the little stray ends suddenly condense together till all the negatives have a bond with the positives
then all my pores started breathing dense dense Les Mis
everything then had a meaning
all the priests whores nuns and convicts orbited my thinking
until I drowned slowly slowly into the sea of Paris
a world like yet unlike mine

i'm going to have to pay a lot for being obnoxious
a rebel baby carrot to the heart
yanking at people, making them see what they usually shy away from
still yet they close their eyes and pretend to be blind

all while not knowing it

wait

maybe I do know it

deep down that drat little voice that I've learned to turn a dear ear to

then does that count as knowing or not knowing?

I have no television now at home
my sister said something about having to study and then she chopped off our cable
now I spend my days wandering about youtube and msn channels

drats

life is so hard with the tele to distract me

the music video for "ladies of the world"

was made down the street from me in venice

roller skates...its all about roller skates

lol

this is great!

flight of the concords

but they cant stop anyone from enjoying the musical exploits

of new zealand..

this is the greatest tv show

the taiwanese government holds a grudge against all the books you attempt to feed me
they calculate safe books and book bombs by seeing if john recommends them or not
i seriously believe that
either that or the green dumplings
maybe it's the green dumplings secretly chomping up all the polluting books in order to save us all
damn you bursting extroverts!

i recommend john updikes "The lifeguard"

you were someone else
the idea that we are the same person
is lunacy that defies all rational
i can here a choir of green dumplings twitter
whether its approval or not one can never be sure
they refuse to acknowledge that they twitter
to them everything is metabolic
which leaves no room for ambigious twitterology
but dont write them off, seeing things such as they do
is a safe place to visit once and while
it noviates (made up word; do as you will) the pain
and explains why im prone to seek out distressing damsels seeking to disdress
in horror we leave this land
pick up the phone
get the message
then hang up the fucking phone

isn't it funny how you can go back and read what you just wrote and hear somebody else?

university is no different from high school isn't it

schools still want money
they still forget about letting students go wild
did you know that DK is letting boys in now?
i wonder what will happen
i hope they'll make them wear sailor uniforms like the girls

i think i'm slowly drying up
nono
more like a orange
squeezed dry first then left to shrivel up in the sun

i am now constantly on the look out for the too safe too ordinary too general too trodden
if you strive too hard to be different
do you just end up like anybody else?
i think i'm busy
tests exams quizzes studying

soulfood
learn arabic
die my hair red
get a mohawk
chew purple gum
maybe i'll secretly go into communications
something like that

it's funny the high i get from talking to people
is that in the norm?
perhaps we are all like that to some extent
people need people even when we pretend we don't

people shy away from me
maybe i see too much
i like looking at the little things
backward glances
stripped down over analyzed

or maybe it's me
i'm picky i admit
stares come in all different shapes and sizes and weights
maybe it's they way i look back at people
there's this guy in my class
he can't look at you directly
i hate that
the look in his eye is saying a million things all at once
i don't need to know you but whatever

i've picked up the bad habit of aimlessly clicking around youtube searching for "the perfect song"
it has to be perfect
just the right lyrics
just the right music
just the right footage

i'm usually a Bon Jovi - Always - Live in London mood
i think it's the people in the footage that make it a winner
you can hear the audience echoing in the background
i don't know if you can though
weren't you a band player before you came back to the normal world?
my bf will be nearly deaf in five years from the likes of it ; )

it's funny how i can't see anyone arabic here
i'm still practicing on being a social light though

maybe i'll be a social fire alarm instead
that sounds much more interesting

I don't know if i've received the call yet.

I wrote all the types of calls that i've received recently and stopped when i mentioned my boyfriend
maybe the truth is too ugly for me to face sometimes

I'll just let it linger
like that dream I had once

you know it's there yet you can't feel it

thats right
probably the best music video ever
to your right

have you received your phone call?
Andy Warhol had a solid gold telephone that
connected him to god
funny, with age, you anticipate and yearn for phone calls
from doctors and lawyers the way we used to yearn the
chats of lovers.
i saw student driver on the free way and it was the purest thing
she had that look that said
this is my first time on the freeway
i completly forgot that feeling

wicked the musical is a child matinee
like the bible after king james

i was living in kansas when I heard that you should use
nail polish to suffocate tiny insects called chiggers
they liked to burrow into skin, lay eggs, rent sex and the city
and play house

in los angeles i took my thunderbird to a mechanic
named angel who wore black nail polish and had a tear drop
tattooed on his left cheek.

i sold that car to Australian beer mogul
the shame

the first time i learned the word gossip in chinese
was from a math teacher named gabriel who dyed his hair
drove a fake harley
and spoke to me about prayer and god.

you see, i just think the world is full of people who seem
to know the jesus,
i loved a jesus
but i started collecting virgin mary paraphernalia and
if you live in east los angeles you would understand
and jesus is for financial advisors and amway
the mother of sorrow is in this city
which seems hell bent on destroying its women
that last line was stolen from david duchoveny

you have given up on jesus
then is mary still your homegirl?


CAN mary still be your homegirl if you have given up on jesus?


nail polish is the weirdest thing in this world


a friend brought a bottle of pinkish red nail polish to calculus class today
we sat in the back and she painted my nails
the teacher was teaching something about functions smiling and staring into nowhere
the front people were sleeping, not dosing, sleeping
middle people usually gossip who and who that and so on
back people (that's us) paint nails talk trash and make snide remarks at the teacher


talking trash is very different from gossiping
gossiping is very slight
no names no responsibilities
gossip starts something like
i think i heard
maybe perhaps
nonono i'm not talking about her


talking trash is much more blunt
yes i mean her who else could i be talking about?
i heard her say that
bitchy stuff

i like to think that talking trash is just telling ugly truths

isn't it much more interesting when you really say something that's so true that it hurts?

unimaginative people just make things up

all while we were waiting for that pinkish red nail polish to dry

I looked down and saw a pair of unfamiliar hands
blood drenched to a sense
pink just isn't my color

then i spent the rest of the class picking it off

I looked at the musical
then I called the bookstore
and sent it back

haha karma

When I go back to the dorms with all the dirt and grime and shit I inhaled through the day

I turn on the computer and start throwing shoes at Bush. The guy screams something in the background. a-v-a-dona I think. I have more fun imagining what that word means then actually throwing shoes at Bush. It's very therapeutic I think. My record is 16

thats is the # of someone who lives off
of the government long enough for him to
write his thesis. did i mention the government
also pays me to teach english?
i feel horrible that I charged so much in taiwan
when all the students here need to do
is scream IM POOR!

and whallah! i show up free of charge
unlike my my cellphone im afraid which is what you have

your writing is insane, so much so that I doubt you are who you really say you are
you couldnt be

but i dont care, like that one hit wonder "who ever you are"
regardless, i have free time, the government is paying me to teach and read a thousand years of literature, it gets boring, but Im sure I will bore you.
i have also given up on jesus,
you see, it is really all about reincarnation, and the if you happen to notice that this life is going rather pissy, its becuase..well..how to puts this...this is your last go at things and its time to pay the piper, the pussycat, the howling black pile of okra that is your life...

karma, says, nononono, there is time to re-invent, but actually this is nihilism, but its the musical version, like wicked, i want you to relish the truth of this book and not be completely snow blinded by the musical when it shows up, there is so much that is not in the musical and i want to share this secret smirk with you. good luck happy hunting, as always, give me an addy, some cash, or contact my government and im sure we can figure out a way that i am paid thoroughly for mailing you contra band literature!

was that a toll free number?
or was it those kinds of numbers with a old lady with a sweet voice answering your call?

I ordered Wicked.
they gave me a musical sing-a-long

I looked at the cover mornfully for the longest time. so close yet so far away
Why is this god damn book so hard to find here in Taiwan?

everytime I go to a bookstore or something and ask, the lady looks up from the computer and "sorry we're all sold out"
then she looks to her right with a look that says
next


I couldn't help myself
It's hard not to use someome's love isn't it

I breathe deep into my clothes and with for a musky warm smell. All I can smell is all the fumes and oils that penetrated my dark purple dress.

you can watch these videos while you wait
or call 805 300 7746
one is expensive and possibly not very helpful
the other one kills time and costs nothing

waiting for your call
i'm angry call
i'm sick call
i'm desperate for a voice call
callcallcallcall

desperate for a voice

a voice

I miss Tainan. I miss sweet things.
Taipei is where they make the weather wet and weary
food that costs crazy and tastes weird
and the people

I don't even know how to discribe the people

My roomie, lets talk about her then

one of my roomies at least

she's from Taipei

She crowds in the bathroom with her taipei friends and talks loudly about how wonderful taipei is.

Quote:
Taipei doesn't really have much, but everything comes here. And our Danshi, nowhere in Taiwan can beat Danshi

isn't that sweet?
it's the only thing sweet in Taipei I guess

good god

im always getting caught writing protest letters while
faking the consumption of animal crackers
taiwan...are you my looking glass?

whats next?

i can see the news, I would be in a dingy restaurant
eating noodles buried in chili peppers, seawead, and brown eggs
coated in sweet brown sauce, because it would be in tainan
where they sweeten everything...
i can see myself looking up at the television,
to avoid eye contact
to do something
and I would be watching TTV
because this is tainan
because everything I eat is sweet
and I could see the president
over and over
consuming crackers
I could see the reporter camera man zoom in
they would use a red pen
and circle the cracker in his hand
we would all be eating

I love the president!
He's absolutely fabulous.

He told the reporters that all of this was just some sort of political set-up. Then, he told everybody he was gonna stop eating to protest.

Somebody caught him eating cookies while pretending to be writing a protest letter.

I wonder what's ma gonna turn out like!

"when the going gets rough
the crazy turn pro"

hunter s Thompson

fear and loathing in Las Vegas
great book