he never should have left the first time
he remembered thinking
this is one of those moments
where you know things could have gone one way and you went another
he put his feet against the close wall of the engine room
he sat in the first row of the large boat that pulled away froma a harbor
an island, where his life could have been different
he was returning to the mainland, a larger island, still an isloated dream of its own
who was this girl? she would have stayed with him, they were offered a place above a pizza place with belgium beers on tap, they could slowly find their way on this small island
yet they left
they were headed back on a slow boat, in the front seat
facing a white wall, so close you could rest your feet at your eyes level
he thought about the life he left behind
and slept for an hour while she stared at the white wall

time knows us better than we think
she knows we will come to recogzine her soon enough
her signs
her posts
her repititions of people and lights and things said and unsaid
she stings you when you dont listen
she comes in the form of memories poured over
mistakes and curves
lights and things different
you look to the sides of the tunnel for a change
instead of the vast white opening of light at the tunnels
end
you notice
she looks alot like her
the one you loved
you see that time provides you with manna
fallen heavenly ambrosia for the taking
if you only willing to fall alseep to
the idea that their is nothing more than patterns
nothing more than flesh
eye color
pulse
and incense
you will fall asleep in time
noticing that the story repeats
but the detours never really seem to end