dehydrated claws

"doesn't she know what your doing...I mean...this whole devil thing...
this is for actors not writers"

you couldnt see her body in the slip
it wasn't to be had
she disappears in designer clothing
and she had just returned from italy
so I answered in Italian
"the devil is an actor"
she took off the slip and there they were
i knew she had small nipples
but these, they had nothing to suggest she could ever be a mother
it was my first erection in nearly a month
the sight of these small, little things
yet how they met her body as such
she was beautiful with the slip off
she needed to be completly unclothed to be beautiful

she used to sleep naked next to her window she told me
aware anything could grab her in echo park
she lived in a bad area
I reminded her it was santa monica
nothing is going to grab you

she told me about her mother
how she would go home for visits
and see her mother watching television
with her pants around her ankles
how she never knew her father
only that he liked to jog early in the morning
along the polluted LA river

I told her she looked better without the slip
and I saw how she reacted

"come here then...She doesnt know you want her to find someone else?
Anything but you? She doest know you want her to write?"

I pulled her ankle close to my mouth
and told her to shut the fuck up

"Why are your wrists bandaged?"
she asked over dinner
"Im not sure yet," I said

After we fucked, she told me about mexico
how she drove there with her boyfriend who was wanted by the police for murder
he was scared
they bought chicken claws and wore them around their knecks
driving in her beat up mercedes
she told me the chicken claws accidently got wet
from sweat while they fucked in the back seat of the mercedes
that the claws swelled up and started to smell, like dead flesh

swollen claws rehydrated

"Why do you have womens clothing in your closet."

"Im not sure."

"Is there anything you...ohhhh...ohhhh..ohhhh..."
I woke up and saw the reminents of life

she got him to talk about his father the night before
and if he was him, he thought...
I've lived 75% of my life already

"I will kill myself when my mother dies"
she says

An hour later alone
I'm on the computer
when the text comes

"xoxooxox hugs and kisses from the bright darkness, cassaro."

"how'd a beautiful thing like you get kicked around so much?" I wrote

:) Im tough, just writing papers all weekend. Can't wait till that's over. My week will be more lax. U gonna be around?"

"Im the morning light you know, I will be around."