i was in chiayi
on the far east of town
i woke up with the sun at my back, early,
weekday, hours before then train, the taxi.
I was watching a man on his roof blowing a whistle
until he was engulfed with pigeons.
The haze obscurred the landscape, softened the hardships and bile
a picture I had in my head when I moved here
betel nut trees and the neon sign of the motel spa
everything in my life led up to this sunrise
and I knew I had to lose it all
I was losing her
and we worked the same shift
she would be in the same train as I
and from the train she would hail the very taxi
that pulled up before my own
I could see the back of her head in traffic
I could see her driver taking the same short cuts as mine
I asked to be let out early at the intersection before the final light
walking to work
I just wanted to take the back entrance
work my way up the stairs to the fifth floor
and stay there until the day passed
it was november and I knew I had at least another year of this

breakup season it when
you look at your friends
break up
one
by
one by
one
you smile
and wonder when
it's gonna happen to you

college life is like that look on the womans face

you know, the woman driving down the road with her dress sticking out caught in the
closed door, flapping with the passing breeze outside the car.
it that look on her face, unknowing, in a hurry, ohh college,

Is college really like grown up life?
As a whole?
As a hole...

I wanna run away with the circus.

I wanna run away with a pack of wild honey bees.


Not hornets; honey bees

I was bitten by a hornet when I was little, and I looked at the torn hornet with pulled out intestines a wiggling half-body struggling for it's life.

Then I walked away with my finger swollen.

I never forgot.

honey bees aren't that great either huh?

But they didn't bite me.

even in hawaii

no way!
Sarah Palin?!
isn't she the hockey mom that your country's gonna put up against Vladimir Putin?!
you guys are really brave

nothing is put to waste
that's my logic anyway
even the icky people in this world have the wonderful use of making us not so icky people look good
: )

ive come the grips with the fact the last five years
of my life have meant nothing

well, grips, maybe not, I go from thoughts to grips rather quickly
as if it means i can ignore the fact that the only people
who understand what Ive done with half a decade are either
soldiers or travelers,
the first Im never in the company of and second I look
for in alleys like fellow vampires

for holloween I was myself
and I spent most of the night talking to Sarah Palin
at first I didnt recognize her and the introduction was ackward
seeing how I made a lasting impression and couldnt remember her
she produces reality television now

as the ghost that I was, disappeared for five years
I found myself stretching in conversations to think of
things that happened five years ago before I left
the night involved me hearing my name and then walking towards
the sound

the women all left around three about the same time the power went out
when the lights came back on Sarah Palin was gone