black balloon

ohh that conversation has no math
it is the back ground radiation you see in the
night sky

in fact, that conversation moves backwards with minutes
it is no longer red shifting but no more blue either

that conversation is still reading Tom Robbins
and laughs that I have stopped
calls me junkyard rust
when Im not expecting it

that conversation likes to say my last name
more than i do

that conversation made me change my cell phone plan to
alot more minutes the next day.

Now im looking up at satelites, waiting with all these minutes

I tried to register for facebook
then I saw all the people it said could be on my friend list
i didn't know half of them
better to let it go then linger on strands
40 cents on a telephone call
how much is that converted into minutes?

I heard a voice I havent heard in three years
part of me thinks she is reading these posts
after three years she seems to know too much
I spent 40$ on our phone conversation
and at the end she mentioned she was reading wicked

your right, I read it a second time and saw a different book

a book a greater mind would see the first time around

her baby teeth so sharp

the yakal, I think it was "the image that straddles the two continents"

providing both insight and demise

there are two ways of reading this, come back to it, eight months pregnant on life there after and read it again,

Im reading Jonathan Swift now, recommended that I read him by a southern author
I met in the valley when I was young, I actually told her that I had written the 38th plot,
we talked of Bukowski next to her rental car

I've finished I've finished I've finished!!

the book

it has different moods

sometimes it'll switch from mood to mood in a turn of a page

like jumping over a canyon thinking you're gonna fall

then the ground hits you too hard

Im reading alot of John Donne right now
in his day, you died they way you lived,
that is, people believed that if lived a just and quiet life
you died quietly, and the opposite...oh dear, I wont say
until I know youve finished the book

God would have killed her is a sentence that can be perceived in many ways, i think
trying to believe in god would have killed her
the unnamed god would have killed her
or
whatever

are we all trying to look for forgiveness in the end?

i meant..You finished the book?

she is a lilith

finish the book

Elphaba couldn't have been baptized
God would have killed her

hmmm, just bought a condo so i say taiwan has a couple of years
before I if I become a mountain loving recluse with a dog and a banjo
im so thrilled you finally have it, it just spoke to me of you so much
you do that though,
im re-reading paradise lost,
his visions of hell are amazing
did you know that entire book he wrote after he went blind?
it makes such sense
if people wanted other people to drive safe
they would mount razor blades to the sun visors of their cars
instead of air bags..
air bags seem to create their necessity
i need to emmulate and find my inner air bag

yes, there was an enclave of east chiayi, right before the mountains
that no one knew about, that I saw an eden, not for anyone mine mine mine
i despise man made holiness other than books, music, craftmen furniture and maybe, maybe,
staples center...and horse racing...cards...moonshine...

and you want to come back to taiwan

you are officially the bravest person I have ever met

yet


Wicked came today!

after two libraries
three bookstores
about six cranky sales people

and nearly half a year of waiting on an internet bookstore
it came

finally

i soaked in the scents and simply stared at the cover for the longest time

I eventually opened the cover gingerly
letting the crisp new cover crease a little

I can now die a happy happy person

im calling it life 2.0
being back here
another month and the house will be in my name

there are versions of you Im not aware of
yet in stating this Im allowed to wonder.
they are taking place
these versions of you
from the beginning you were something
I wasn't going to mess with

dilute the joy. however melancholic it may be.
my work day tomorrow has been cut in half
by a double homicide in front of a library
Im looking forward to a day,
returning to taiwan
with a masters and a pension for living in nantou
writing in the summer
living in the mountains
weeks of friendly visits, friends of paris and echo park
a recording studio and some dogs is all I ask for

I will be in santa monica until this happens

I laughed like a child today. Our club was welcoming new guests and the sight of so many people elated me.
I twisted and turned among all the people
and
laughed.


I laugh to forget.

I laugh and a elephant laughs with me, his pot belly trembling, trunk waving, soundless.

Ganesha

I have started melting haven't I?
When people pass they mold into what we thought they were.
Glimpses come up time to time
I remember

the time you stood at the school balcony, overlooking how the entire school revolved around the mother mary that looked down instead of up at us

all the crazy books you would feed me, books bout triangular heads and disappearing wives and cats

and blue and purple clad santa clauses

I don't know how many versions of me there were
I am melting too fast to remember

i swear you were in the room then
the whiskey was bushmills
and the music was a reunion

just how many versions of you have there been?
is there one of you dropping out and becoming a
librarian in the city of angels?
a city "hell bent on destroying its female population"